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Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

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Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Groompah » Wed Jun 02, 2010 12:46 am

Winter has fallen on the garden that grew,
a song to the dead is all that is left,
the flowers wilting, the petals falling,
all you can hear is the lost souls crying and calling.

Over time even that fades, as memories die, and we forget
About all the people we loved, and the beauty we wed.

Lost in the void of all that is gone,
Forgetting the words or even the heart of the song
We are gone now, that is all that is left,
There are no more swordsman to carry on this debt,

The land hasn't been quenched of the blood that it needs, so now it is dying,
and our souls can never be free. We lost what we loved, what we need, what we saw

But it is gone, lost and gone.

I alone still clench my sword, covered in rust, always dull, but I hold it all,

Last of my kind alone in the breeze, I hope I could remember but my thoughts fade and I
can never be free.
~

Groompah
~
"You're my boy, Blue!" ~ In loving memory of Patrick Cranshaw. June 17, 1919 — December 28, 2005

The Last of the Bladewalkers
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Strazdas » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:27 am

loved it.
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Dragonskull » Wed Jun 02, 2010 5:32 am

From a traditional poet's standpoint, it lacks flow and rhythm, some of the sentences are too long, not too many words, but too many beats, if you get what I mean.
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Groompah » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:40 pm

Dragonskull wrote:From a traditional poet's standpoint, it lacks flow and rhythm, some of the sentences are too long, not too many words, but too many beats, if you get what I mean.

I think this made me smile more than any other reply to a poem I've written. And I know it's not normal, I didn't want it to be. Thanks for the reply though, my friend :)
~
"You're my boy, Blue!" ~ In loving memory of Patrick Cranshaw. June 17, 1919 — December 28, 2005

The Last of the Bladewalkers
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Dragonskull » Fri Jun 04, 2010 3:50 am

Yeah, I know what you mean, I'm fond of breaking the pattern and doing something strange myself.

Flying through the air
Falling

Like a raindrop, I descend
towards

A moment of peace
earth,

I am a snowflake now
an

Drifting on the winds
imminent

Suddenly the heat strikes
impact,

There is no turning back
a raindrop cannot fly


Not particularly proud of this one, but it demonstrates how I like to experiment with line-breaks, if you didn't notice at first read-through, I consider that a good thing, there's two sentences (upper and lower line) describing the same event from two perspectives, finally concluding in the last line.
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Seredoo » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:01 pm

När livet svänger runt ett hörn av tegel,

På gatan där du är född och växte upp,

Var då inte rädd för vad som ska ske,

När ljusen tystnar och natten smyger,

För om du en gång till sist låter bli,

Att din själ som ej längre skrattar,

Bevara i den du för mig brukade vara,


This is mine, I don't work with english caus it isnt very poetic
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Ja nie » Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:26 pm

one of mine: translated from spanish

there are times where you have to decide
fucking bitch you've crossed the line
you played me wrong, its time to pay
with your own blood, that you will shed

i love fruits, they taste great
my favorite one is the orange
nothing rhymes with orange
so i'll create a word: lorange

back to the point, you fucking whore
i'm not really that mad, in fact i'm cool
but i guess you want to read more
so emm, fuck you? brb gotta play pool

i think this sucks
blind guardian's new single comes out june 25
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Strazdas » Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:29 am

i assume it soudns better in spannish, because it ahrdly makes any sense in english.
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Ja nie » Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:51 pm

it doesn't in spanish either.
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Re: Poem: Last of the Bladewalkers

Postby Groompah » Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:24 pm

Dragonskull wrote:Yeah, I know what you mean, I'm fond of breaking the pattern and doing something strange myself.

Flying through the air
Falling

Like a raindrop, I descend
towards

A moment of peace
earth,

I am a snowflake now
an

Drifting on the winds
imminent

Suddenly the heat strikes
impact,

There is no turning back
a raindrop cannot fly


Not particularly proud of this one, but it demonstrates how I like to experiment with line-breaks, if you didn't notice at first read-through, I consider that a good thing, there's two sentences (upper and lower line) describing the same event from two perspectives, finally concluding in the last line.


Look at the last lines only, Falling Towards Earth, Immenent Impact, a Raindrop cannot fly.
~
"You're my boy, Blue!" ~ In loving memory of Patrick Cranshaw. June 17, 1919 — December 28, 2005

The Last of the Bladewalkers
User avatar
Groompah
TibiaNews Honoraire
 
Posts: 1925
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:22 pm
Location: Antica/Inferna


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